My First Date DO’s & DON’Ts

Posted on Friday, January 24th, 2014 at 5:09 pm

So as I’ve been losing weight (248 pounds as of writing this entry) I’ve begun dating a little bit and I wanted to stop a moment and break completely form my normal posts about weight loss and talk about what I think are some obvious DOs and DON’Ts of first dates that I’ve started to figure out and understand. Some of these are realizations from my own first dates as well as stories I’ve heard from friends recently.

But before I get into the full list I wanted to share with you what I look for in a “first date” and it may surprise you that to hear me say I’m a little old fashioned, well at least in the single sense that I tend to be an in-person type who doesn’t use a text message to ask a girl out. Text messages are just too impersonal to me, which is why internet dating is a complicated maze of weirdness to me at times, but that is a story for another day. In direct converse proportion to my self-proclaimed old-fashioned nature however when it comes to first dates I tend, rather, to be more non-traditional. To me a first date is ruined by a movie; not because the movie sucks, but because it distracts from conversation, and conversation is key to a good first date. And even in my case, while I’m not looking for anything serious at the moment (in terms of a relationship) it doesn’t mean I don’t want to talk to or get to know a girl. So ideally a good first date is any activity that forces conversation to occur. Whether that be something as simple as dinner and putt-putt or something more relaxing like a night out at a park for a nice conversation and a stroll or even to the zoo or an aquarium to something more energizing like hitting up a roller rink or bowling alley, or taking a hike. But whatever that first date may be it should as I mentioned allow for conversation…mutual two-way conversation at that. Maybe later on at some point I list my more ideal first date activities and more specificity. In the meantime I give you the list:

Do…

The unexpected. First date’s that break with the tradition seem to almost always go better. Especially if they allow for more interaction.

Wear comfortable clothing. Be stylish yet comfortable.

Wear sexy underwear. Even if sex on the first date isn’t your thing. Wearing something you feel sexy in makes you feel more confident and confidence is always key.

Bring a travel toothbrush or two. I’m never far away from something I can use to excuse myself to clean my teeth in the bathroom. Your date will thank you even if you don’t kiss him/her.

Talk about your date even before your date. Friends can give a good pep talk.

Facebook him/her. I’m not saying stalk them, but it’s more than acceptable this day and age to do a little pre-homework on the date if you have the option.

Be positive. The more positive you are the more he/she will be also. A Smile is infectious and can turn around a date that maybe didn’t start iff as well as one had hoped.

Share stories about your life at a high level. It will help you both determine where your interests meet.

End the date if you feel you just didn’t click with him/her. Don’t go to a second location if you don’t like him/her.

Break all the conventional “rules of dating” and call him/her after whatever period of time YOU damn well please. You can be fun and call someone without the stigma of being weird.

Don’t…

Get ahead of yourself. Slow the eff down…this is your first date so set the expectation lower and you will very likely have a better time.

See a movie. This being your first date should be more about getting to know someone and you can’t really do that in a movie theater.

Wear overly sexy attire over your underwear. This goes along with being comfortable but more importantly helps draw the lines of the respect you deserve as a human being. Don’t dress like meat and you won’t be treated like meat.

Take shit from him/her. This goes along with the above DON’T because no matter how you dress do NOT tolerate assholes.

Drink and Date. Sure one or two glasses may be fine, but don’t get hammered on the first date. It will very likely set an example of who you are that isn’t what you want him/her to see.

Order something that you wouldn’t normally order at dinner. Be you, and if he/she doesn’t like the fact you ate too much that’s their problem not yours.

Talk about your ex. EVER.

Get too personal in the story sharing. In the end you need to remember this is just a first date.

Talk about sex, because it rarely comes off as anything more than creepy and awkward.

Add him/her to your Facebook friend list after the first date. It’s just weird.

 

I will undoubtedly have more to add to this list, but I just wanted to take a short moment and share it. In all likelihood people will read these and disagree with them and if you do please let me know, also leave a comment about your DOs and DON’Ts of a first date.

~rev (307 pounds)

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